Tracey Emin speaks about her cancer at opening of her exhibition in Rome

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British artist Tracey Emin spoke about her recovery from cancer as she opened a new exhibition in Rome, recalling her last visit to the Italian capital “when I was dying, but didn’t know it”.

Fifteen artworks completed by Emin, 59, since she was given the all-clear from bladder cancer in 2021 are being displayed at the Galleria Lorcan O’Neill in central Rome. Called You Should Have Saved Me, the works are described as a testament “to the healing power of art”.

Emin’s last exhibition at the same gallery was in 2019, before she received the cancer diagnosis.

“The last time I was here, someone asked a question and my answer was, ‘I would just like to die’,” she said. “Because what I didn’t realise at the time was that I really was dying. I nearly didn’t make the opening; I felt terrible and someone said ‘oh, she’s been drinking’. But I really hadn’t … I was really seriously ill.”

Emin was unable to paint during her illness, but sprung back with a burst of new energy that she put into the series of acrylic on canvas paintings, which reflect her own volcano of emotions – be it the rage felt while painting The Crucifixion or when looking back at her “fucked up childhood” with You Should Have Saved Me.

She said she wants people to feel something when they see her work. “Or I want them to feel something about themselves – that’s the most important thing. I don’t want people to say “oh, what a beautiful painting”. I want them to say: ‘Fuck, that’s me’.”

The Crucifixion is also a reflection of Emin’s own sacrifices. “I think, at this point in my life, that I’ve sacrificed quite a lot to be here,” she said. “I sacrificed my bladder, part of my vagina, a number of my body parts … I don’t have children, I’m not married, I sacrificed all those things to be an artist. But no matter what situation I’ve been in or how desperate or scared I’ve been, art has saved me.”

Emin created the works at her studios in London and Margate, where she recently opened her new art school.

She said she is happier now than before she had cancer.

“I have all this new work, all this new life, all this new energy and focus that I never had before,” she added. “I never knew cancer would give me so much … everything is now more beautiful, kinder, better than it was before. I just had to lose a few things to get to that point.”

Emin has been visiting Rome for 20 years.

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“But I still haven’t managed to see that Caravaggio [at Basilica Santa Maria del Popolo], every time I go, it’s closed,” she joked. “But I love Rome. I’ve never been here and not seen something new – you turn a corner and find a 2,000-year-old wall or whatever. I think it’s a really beautiful city, and the Romans are really funny. It’s a sexy city, just brilliant – they even make the rubbish look sexy.”

Emin’s exhibition opens to the public on 13 May and is running until 9 September.